In 2001, Jack White “borrowed” the lyrics for The White Stripes song “The Union Forever” from the highly regarded film Citizen Kane. Warner Bros famously threatened a lawsuit in 2003. Little did he know, by refreshing one particular quote White resurfaced a great, if not obscure, piece of investing advice. Picture it as an investor self-talking down their own inner demons:
“Well, I’m sorry, but I’m not interested in gold mines, oil wells, shipping or real estate.”
A resourceful YouTuber created a mashup of The White Stripes song with clips of Citizen Kane, and I’ve started it at the relevant passage below:
What’s my point? It’s simple: the percentage of people who are stock market tinkerers — read: uninformed, woefully inept — is shockingly large. Charle Foster Kane, as resurrected by Jack White, knew his forte was not the seemingly mundane and always risky task of investing in particular industries. He just wanted to run a newspaper and left the finances to his hired hands.
Want to buy a stock on a hunch, especially when you haven’t done a lick of homework or listened to a conference call?
“Well, I’m sorry, but I’m not interested in gold mines, oil wells, shipping or real estate.”
Disaster averted.
Sitting on a boatload of cash because you’re waiting to time the market and get in to some “good names” at a later date?
“Well, I’m sorry, but I’m not interested in gold mines, oil wells, shipping or real estate.”
Problem solved.
Ever used the word “play” in reference to an investment? Like, “what’s a good oil play?”
“Well, I’m sorry, but I’m not interested in gold mines, oil wells, shipping or real estate.”
Pain avoided.
The Citizen Kane line always used to make me feel a bit uncomfortable because I, too, used to be one of those woefully inept investors. It’s true. I thought investing was about picking the right gold mine, oil well, shipping company or piece of real estate. I thought shunning the exercise of picking stocks or timing markets meant I was shunning all of the education, training and experience I’ve accumulated, but it wasn’t!
Investing has to be the only industry where the more you learn, the closer you are to realizing what you have been told is important is actually mostly crap. There’s no way around it and you have to go through it to make it to the other side. Reaching the other side is not paid with tuition but with personal mistakes and lessons learned.
Repeating a mantra that shuns an investor’s urge to “make it big” or to be really smart, is going to have a very high return-on-repetition. Don’t like Citizen Kane’s version? Try this one:
“Well, I’m sorry, but I’m interested in low costs, diversification, long-term focus and simplicity.”